Friday, May 9, 2014

Mother's Day is the best day.

Even though most Mother's days since I became a mommy just under 6 years ago (not counting utero), I spend "my" day on duty.  That's ok, because that's WHY I'm a mommy.  Why I choose to walk through life holding onto little dirty fingers with a "boogie rag" in my handbag.  Why I have said handbag (and all other handbags) in size LARGE to hold sippy cups, little zips of pretzels and crackers, hair ties, and miniature toys that the little hands don't want to hold anymore.  Why I have listened to/read/watched Frozen a gazillion times and always tear up for the love of sisters.  I walk through life as a mommy who gets stressed, overwhelmed, overjoyed, and every other emotion included in the human brain.  When I think back on the first time I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and excited.  As I felt my little one moving and watched my belly grow and grow throughout my pregnancy, I started becoming more scared out of my mind than happily excited.  I definitely wasn't in the mommy "zone" then because I had no idea what to expect out of this little creature that we created.  The instant, I mean...THE very MINUTE she was put into my arms for the first time and I felt her touch me, I changed forever.  I was no longer me.  I was someone new.  I was re-born a mother.   It became a whole new thought process for me.  Selfishness was no longer an option, it was all about her and how I was going to make sure she was safe and taken care of every second of the day.   I was (and still am) lucky because she was a fantastic first baby experience.  She made it easy on me to be the mommy I never knew I wanted to or even thought I could be.  The second time around I knew exactly what it was like but just when I thought my heart couldn't get any fuller, baby #2 proved me wrong.  As I type, type, type away on my keyboard, I realize that it's actually quite difficult to convey in words what it feels like to love a child.  I've never known this type of true love in my life.  I mean seriously, when someone draws a picture of you every week, and even sometimes daily, you can't help but feel like a superhero-in truth, I have no words.  When you walk in the door and someone comes running to you, screaming your name (Mommy!!) with open arms because they haven't seen you in a really long time (like an hour)-I have no words.  When you are constantly told "you make the best cookies ever"-I have no words.  When this little person says "I can't sleep if you don't sing to me, Mommy."-I have no words.
To whomever thought I would make a good mother...thank you.  Thank you for giving me this experience, this journey this joyful/stressful/meaningful life that is motherhood.  I am fortunate.  I. Am. Loved.

To my girls who were put on this earth to love me like no one ever has.  To test me like nothing has or ever will.  To be my rocks and my soft places to land when I get old and need you the most.  Every day your eyes twinkle and your smiles sparkle. You make me special and for that I couldn't love you more.  I will love you for all of my days and beyond.

Happy Mother's Day, Mommies!  I hope you squeeze those little munchkins harder and longer on your special day.  Remember to put everything into perspective and I'll try to do the same. ;)


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